hw 19 big paper 1 suggestions

Hi Arden
i thought I would post a comment on your paper because my partners are having minor problems posting theirs.

To start, I think this a really good rough draft. It is well written and I think you have all your ideas in a good order. One thing you may want to change is in your introduction. It might benefit the reader if you added what it was you were talking about in the first sentence. The “it” your talking about is obviously an aspect of digitalization but I wasn’t sure if you were referring to something more specific.

Your second paragraph connects to your thesis well but where is that quote coming from. Just something small to add would be a quick sentence on where it came from.

Your paper definitely had some well fitting evidence, which help to support your thesis.

One piece of evidence that is really good for the argument where you talk about how language has changed is Feed. In feed people no longer write, at all. This may help strengthen your point.

All in all this was a very good paper and I think you did an excellent job
Evan