To start, I think this a really good rough draft. It is well written and I think you have all your ideas in a good order. One thing you may want to change is in your introduction. It might benefit the reader if you added what it was you were talking about in the first sentence. The “it” your talking about is obviously an aspect of digitalization but I wasn’t sure if you were referring to something more specific.
Your second paragraph connects to your thesis well but where is that quote coming from. Just something small to add would be a quick sentence on where it came from.
Your paper definitely had some well fitting evidence, which help to support your thesis.
One piece of evidence that is really good for the argument where you talk about how language has changed is Feed. In feed people no longer write, at all. This may help strengthen your point.
All in all this was a very good paper and I think you did an excellent job
Evan.
i posted the previous comment before i knew about the grading so im doing it now.
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hey sam
i figured i would comment on your paper because my partners are having trouble posting theirs.
for one your analysis in most of your arguments are very well written and do a good job connecting to your thesis. in your third paragraph your connection and similarities to how it can be mirrored in our lives was great and i think you should try and do that in more of your arguments
in your paragraph on Brave New World was really insightful. I too am reading that book, thats a really interesting connection that i never really analyzed. but to add to it something you might want to add how it is similar to our society technology aside.
i will finish this later to be continued.
to continue your connection to how big a part of our lives it is (Y2K) was very good may be if you want you could expand on it
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